Heya, been a while since I tried to blog most anything anywhere. Oh, I get started on a good daily streak, or even a regular weekly streak, and it all runs sideways, then it crashes entirely while I go off on another manic and capricious tangent. Lately I can either sit and blog or head out and exercise… guess what I’ve been doing?
So as I sit here waiting for a connection to show up and drop of the materials I need in order to do the work I have to do for said connection I thought I’d try to lay out the thoughts that were bugging me as I tried to peel the sticky sweat soaked clothing off my rather overly large body and climb into a blessedly cool shower to sluice off some of the unpleasantness that I was feeling after my attempted run last night.
See, as I came back into range, my Samsung Galaxy Note re-linked to the home wireless (not going to have it connected to cell data net here, waaayyy too expensive!), and started uploading the Runkeeper data to their servers where it linked over to the Fitocracy site.. and then updated everything and sent the workout link to my tumblr log…
The exasperating part of all this is that while I’m totally out of the zone and just feeling hot, yucky and uncomfortable, my smartphone starts pinging like crazy with notifications of new emails and new notifications… in the time it took me to peel a tee-shirt off I had apparently gained a couple dozen new followers? So Hi! and thanks for following….. but…. why?
To set the record absolutely straight, here’s a picture of me last night,
That’s it. that’s as good as it gets, and for all the angels in heaven I can’t figure out what my wife see’s in me but I appreciate like hell that she sees it. I’m not old yet, but I can see the gates. At 37 years old, the top of the hill is only a few years off. But back to the topic I was actually trying to make a point on. I got through with my shower despite the phone going haywire, and then took this picture, because hey, vanity, and I suppose tracking of some sort. Then I started to look into what all the notifications were about. Ok, new tumblr followers… cool. wait? 25+ huh? what the hell? ok, look deeper… umm.. uncomfortable… and feeling confused as crap..
Was a Fitblr.. not only that, but every single one of them was a twenty something (or maybe younger) female fitblr…
Question. Why the hell are 20 something women following my tumblr blog that is basically nothing more than a feed from Fitocracy?
That was the First question. The second question was why wasn’t I thrilled by this? It scared the hell outta me, and make me uncomfortable. Like maybe I was coming across as something other than an older fat guy trying to fight the uphill battle of the bulge…
In reviewing what’s already up in various places, nope, I’m still who I think I am, a solidly (usually happily) married guy approaching forty, with three kids at home and a fourth child living with my ex-wife, who’s literally two steps above the most boring job in the world (to most, I find it fascinating, but I’m odd). So, why the discomfort? I realized I don’t want to be the focus of many who are at least ten years my junior and of the opposite sex. I’m basically an introvert looking to be noticed and appreciated by the one I am married to, and to be a superhero of the everyday variety to my kids, role-modeling what it is to be a good man and a good father… (man do I have a long way to go on that front, but I’m trying).
Anyhow, this has rambled on long enough, so I’ll leave off and get back to work here.
DFTBA and God Bless. I’ve got a playgroup to get to with my youngest and then home to work.
Yeah, I know, Saturday’s are our notional day off for the week, but in reality, for the working father with the ambitious wife on the go, Saturday’s are the day to ‘get all that other stuff done’ around the house.
So as I sit here, on a Saturday morning at 8 am, thinking fondly of fondling my wi.. … wait, different train of thought. Thinking fondly of a nice cuppa coffee, I’ve already re-settled the youngest of the brood, and the garbage bags are all out for pickup, and I’ve gotten a handle (kinda) on the dishes that need done once I can start making some noise, and I’ve even managed to get the bills kinda addressed, somewhat anyhow, you know how it is, a dollar short and a day late and all that jazz.
So, there are a few projects I have around here that I wanted to address before the snow flies this year. The buttoning up of the exterior before winter is a good place to start, as is the armouring (I’m in the middle of making a shield boss for my new round shield) and I need to finish off a helm as well if I can get the time to do it. I think I’ll go and start by looking for the plastic I’m going to need for doing the kitchen ceiling, and then oh heck I don’t know. I might be back later if I can find the time. I just overheard that I’m supposed to be taking the kids to a birthday party this afternoon, so that’s scratched, unless I can take some of the work with me to do. Anyhow, until later. Cheers.
You know what? Stress buggers all kinds of things up. This month has been one of those months where Friday feels like Monday and I go back to work to recover from being at home. Know what I mean? Then at work it’s been upgrading, and new employees, and new hardware, and new software, and new processes,
Then to top it off, there’s the issues with getting my incredibly hot and talented wife through all the right hoops to let her get back into school and finish the program she started, and the middle boy is at the top end of four, meaning he’s a little bit moody some of the time, the rest of the time he’s worse.
I know this is not correct writing, the comma splices are brutal, and run on sentences are even worse, but the truth is that I am tired, it’s about two in the morning, and my boy is making sounds like he’s going to wake up soon.
Anyhow, I’m apparently not really certain where I wanted this to go, but the fact is I”m here, I’m busy and I’ve got some cleaning up do to in the near future concerning writing, recovery and general rant blogs as well as Facebook pages and other general things… I’ll probably mull it all over tomorrow and try to come up with a resolution of sorts, eventually. Maybe. Kinda.
Specifically I have to figure out how to continue with the daily inspirational blog, while determining where I want to go with a writing blog, since I can either be writing stories, or writing a blog, and there’s only so much time in a day… *sigh* Wish me luck will you. Thanks. Dan.
Personally I have many opinions on this and other topics but if I try to tell you about them all at the same time, it’s just going to come out jumbled, like an addict on speed.
See, I’ve recently hit a wall in work and life. Up until now I could plug in my headphones, crank some various tunes (depending on my mood and my needs) and just pretend that I was being productive with five or six programs open and active, but the truth was that I was just slogging through, trying to complete something, anything, and desperately trying to justify what I wasn’t getting done.
Today was a waste, I spent all day doing redundant technical and grunt work around the office, moving systems, fixing systems, that kind of thing; and it drove me nuts to be not doing much of anything at all that can be charged out at anything resembling a reasonable rate.
Truthfully however, I just want to feel, at the end of the day, that I’ve earned the money I get to take home. And in multitasking I don’t ever feel that way. It’s frustrating to say the least.
I know some people can do very well with multitasking, but I suppose I’m not one of them, I really thought I was for a while, but it turns out that I may be wrong.
On a positive note, I’ve figured out the basic process of getting books online and ready for sale via E-Book marketing, which is awesome, so yay me.
Now, which book to start with? I’ll leave it up in the air, I’ll periodically post the first chapter of the one’s I have ready to work on, and y’all can choose from there, fair enough?
Yep, it’s camp time again, as well as being a good time for me to do ‘some other stuff’ but I can’t talk too much about it yet, since I don’t quite want to be held accountable for my indiscretions.
Did that make you wonder?
Anyhow, I’m in the middle of picking up a story line that I made notes on, in order to do the Camp-NaNoWriMo thing again. Why oh Why do I do this to myself?
Off to get back to work. Later all.
Hiya, how’s it lay?
Not good today?
Well, what seems to be the problem?
You’re not sure you say?
I wish the doubts would just go away.
The pain, the fear, the fright, the tears;
Leave them behind, list out your mind.
And get your ass off the starting line!
Time to get to work.
Seriously tho’ I wish I looked this good in a suit. Anyhow, today, up on the docket,
SPS LS et al
D&N FS T2 et al
the Legend of Zero copyedit
Questerlings – Dragon’s Vs Vamps Vs Wolfiez Vs teh legions of hell.
fixing the blog roll listings, on both sides of the fence
adn of course there’s the usual bit where I post ODAT stuff every day of my life.
And new to town, I am thinking of doing Video book reviews for the books I’ve read.
Oh, and a letter to CGA begging for a chance to not get kicked out of the program.
that’s about it. I like the poem at the top of this page, but I am a lackluster poet to start with.
So yeah. Wish me luck.
It’s been a couple of days now, hasn’t it?
ODAT Post? Yeppers, and tomorrow’s will be going up in about two hours if the scheduling works well enough..
Gratitude Journal Video clip? Pressure is off on the video blogging, something had to give and since there’s no real benefit to me putting up crap videos for nothing other than vanity, well, yeah, you get the idea. It’s only if I have something to say and maybe I’ll start a weekly video check in for my exercise or getting in shape ambitions.
Hug each kid twice today? Hugged and cuddled, and played with them, it was a good day kidwise. Let’s hope the littlest one stays asleep for the night now. I don’t hold out much hope, but one can dream.
Twenty Minutes of Cardio? Ten this morning in two five min bursts, ten pushups and squats, 2 reps, and holy crap am I outta practice. I’ve got the sheer brute force, but my staying power is crap. And then random push-up sets throught the day, managed three at ten each, but only barely. And then this evening, another ten on the bike, and squats and only five pushups before my arms gave out. Man am I starting from the bottom of the ladder or what?
Number of push-ups managed? How many times push-ups managed? see above.
Weight training? (details if managed, need a plan in place eventually) Going to stick with body weight exercises for now, reassess Feb 1st.
And finally, number of words written today on fiction projects? Ok, this is where it gets weird. I am wanting to write, and it’s not going to happen. Truth be told, I am so scattered that I actually pulled up the blog platform so that I’d have a place to air my brain out and see what made sense. I’ll probably do some video on it in the morning after I sleep as well.
But here’s the thing, the stress at work is getting to be insane and I want to scream most of the time. Add to that the fact that I’m not feeling the whole motivation and support thing at work these days either, and it’s pretty much just a place I go to do stuff for them so they can pay me for it. How mundane and uninspired does that sound?
So, I’ve been doing three things on that front, in addition to trying desperately to remember why I enjoyed the job I was hired to do, before it all went to hell on me.
First, I’ve been looking at delving deeper into the technical side of the game, with all the attendant potential that such might hold.
Second, I’ve been seriously considering looking for a new job elsewhere away from the other sources of stress in our collective lives, and that seems like the best option in most cases anyhow.
Third, I’ve been thinking towards improving my writing to the point that freelance and short fiction or non-fiction can be a moderate second source of income for me and us to cover off some of the bills that are coming in.
And all of that leads me to this point. I’ve got to revamp my resume for two or three different aspects of life, the freelance writing side and the professional accounting side.
So, where do I go from here? Dangit, I wish I had the answer at this point, but I’m tired, it’s almost midnight, and I’ve got to get up in a few hours, so I’ll leave off and get to bed here, after another five or ten minutes on the exercise bike.
Wish me luck.