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Before anybody asks, look here first, then if you don’t get it ask..

The title, “Reports from Castle Chaos” is an accurate reference to where I live. My family and I reside in central British Columbia, Canada, in what was originally a three bedroom 60×10 mobile home (trailer). There are at present, one adult male [me] AKA The Duke of Chaos, one adult female [her] AKA The Duchess of Chaos, and four chaotic kids, from 10 down to 1 at this point (2016). We’ve also a guinea pig and a cat, who seem to enjoy each other’s company, oddly enough. Life is mayhem, chaos is normal, and when it finally gets quiet, the voices in my head get LOUD so I had to start writing, thus this blog is born and populated.

So, according to the stats, somebody is looking at this page, I suppose I should get around to updating it.

This is the original text…

I know this is here, but I am going to need some time to make it work and fill in the gaps of my world. Please bare with me, (wait that’s not it, put your clothes back on!) Please bear with me as I work this all into shape. Currently I am pear shaped, I’d like to be surfer shaped eventually… 😀

Yep, that’s it. my info is not here yet. E-mail me and ask if you need to know something

To be fair, that’s not really helpful is it?

Here’s two other versions that you can choose from.

I landed here sometime around three and a half decades ago (your time) as an energy based life form… then realizing that as pure energy I could not enjoy simple things like chocolate ice cream and hot showers, I arranged to be born as one of you humans.

The trauma of being born had until recently erased all my other memories, but as I progress and work on this pitiful excuse for a brain, stretching it’s capacity, I begin to reclaim some of my former power. Soon I will be able to exert control and dominate the whole world once again, as is my rightful due as supreme being in all creation, second only to HIM of course. All proper respect and homage must be delivered to HIM as is HIS due…

So, enjoy freedom and innocence while it lasts. I shall be a benevolent Supreme Ruler, but I shall be Supreme Ruler nonetheless.

Adore Me.

***

Or Maybe…

* * *

Born of impoverished ostrich farmers in northern Ireland, Danny spent most of his pre-school years constructing various fortifications for unknown purposes, many of which he manged to sell the patents and designs for to insecure yet successful businessmen trying to get in touch with their inner child.

Once in school, he was thought rather stupid by his earliest teachers. Always apparently daydreaming and not paying attention, these earliest teachers then tested young Danny and found that he was in fact quite bright. Rather than being not smart enough to keep up with the class, Danny was in fact done with the infantile matters they were teaching. He was already plotting how he would take over the world. Admittedly his earliest attempts were seen as nothing more than a child’s grandiose dreams but they were intimidating nevertheless.

Finally, after perfecting his skills at all kinds of crafting throughout his earlier life, he finally settled down the business of learning the tools of world domination, masquerading as an underachieving college flunky with aspirations of greatness, studying varied topics such as history, business and philosophy.

Freed of the preliminary training for becoming Dominating Ruler of the world, poor Danny was waylaid by the one force of nature that could stop him dead in his tracks towards Absolute Greatness.

He became a father. As any father will undoubtedly know, fatherhood and world domination both take a great deal of energy, and one cannot pursue both activities simultaneously, thus World Domination will have to wait until the boys graduate school. Luckily he’ll have a queen to sit beside him when he assumes the mantle of Absolute Ruler of Humanity.

Or not, maybe she’ll just sit quietly beside him as he get’s older and daydreams about his youth….

(Ok, test time, what’s the truth? Most of it’s hidden here, but naturally it’s not actually stated correctly, cheers and good luck.)